My Journey with the Word ‘Spiritual’

My Journey with the Word ‘Spiritual’

And Finding My Calling Along the Way

September 30, 2021

When I was hired as a university chaplain, my new job description read: “to nurture the spiritual life of the campus community.” It was assumed by everyone, including myself, that spiritual life was synonymous with faith life or religious life. But I soon began to realize that this way of defining spiritual was too confining. It didn’t encompass all the interactions I had on a daily basis with students who were not religious, not people of faith, yet what we were doing still felt very much like spiritual work.

Like the freshman who came to see me because he was so homesick that he wanted to drop out of school. Or the graduating senior who no longer wanted to be an engineer, realizing too late that engineering had been his parents’ dream, not his own. Or the graduate students whose classmate had tragically died, and they were struggling to make some sense out of what seemed to be a senseless death. Or the students I took on an alternative spring break trip, who chose to spend that week doing community service rather than partying with their friends. None of these students were religious or people of faith. Most of them would say they weren’t interested in spirituality. Some of them would self-identify as agnostic or atheist. Yet I was convinced they were all engaging in spiritual work.

So, I began to ask myself, “What does spiritual look like when it is not a part of faith or religion? And how can I articulate it in a way that helps students recognize how to nurture that part of themselves?

I went on a hunt to find a definition for the word spiritual that was independent of religious connotations. And yet I still wanted the definition to also apply to people of faith. I wanted a definition that captured what it means, at the core, to nurture our spirits; something that would encompass those who seek God inside organized religion as well as those who seek God in less conventional ways, and especially those who were not interested in seeking God at all. And I wanted to be able to talk about it in everyday language that connected with everyday life. 

What I found was that there was no universally agreed upon way to define the word spiritual. And most of the definitions I found were too academic or too ethereal or just too plain long. So I gathered all the definitions together and consolidated them into something I thought could make sense to college students.

I came up with this definition: “spiritual is that part of yourself that seeks connection, meaning, and purpose.”

In presentations and conversations with students I began to talk about what it looks like to nurture their spirit. For example, in my presentation at Orientation for New Students I’d ask them to think about their purpose for coming to college, the degree they wanted to pursue, the direction they wanted their lives to take and why. I’d ask them to think about the connections they wanted to make with other students, joining groups on campus, getting involved. I’d ask them to think about what would make the next four of five years in college a meaningful experience for them, and how they would decide what meaningful meant to them. For students of faith, I’d ask them to think about these questions within the context of their faith commitment.

I’d tell the students that my role was to help them pay attention to, and nurture, that part of themselves that seeks these things—connection with others, meaningful experiences, purpose in their lives. I’d tell them that my role was to encourage them to nurture their spirit so they’d be able to get what they hoped to get out of their college experience. And once they graduated, they’d be prepared to create a life for themselves filled with connection, meaning, and purpose.

I found that this definition gave me the vocabulary to articulate the spiritual work that students were doing but often didn’t recognize in themselves. To articulate it and to affirm it, to nurture it. It wasn’t until much later that I came to the realization that this has been my calling all along, my calling still: to notice and affirm, to encourage and nurture the spiritual work people are doing, especially in those who have left religion or were never a part of it to begin with.

My understanding of the word spiritual shifted again when I was writing my first book, Common Spaces Between Us, which is about my interactions with the college students I worked with as a chaplain. I had discerned that the book would be about connection with others in the midst of our differences. But I also realized it was very much about meaning and purpose within those connections. As my book was published and I began sharing it with others, I continued to recognize how often in my experiences the three strands of my definition—meaning, purpose, and connection—were intertwined, like a braid. And I began to reflect on how connection may be at the core of meaning and purpose. And how connection refers not only to connection with others (which may or may not include God), but also connection with ourselves, with creation, with the common good.

So, over time, I have modified my definition. I now say that, for me, spiritual describes that part of our self that yearns for connection filled with meaning and purpose. And the way I am called to share my light in the world is to nurture spiritual connection ~ within ourselves, with others, and with the greater good.